Returned: Epic Fail, Better and More Details.Actually, before I really begin, I would like to simply say this:
I am tremendously sorry for all the people I have dissapointed. I am dissapointed in myself, I had a brilliant idea and because I got sick, I couldn't see it through to the very end. You have every right in the world to hate me.
So, what happened to me? I know a lot of people asked, so I shall explain a bit as to what happened these past months.
In December I started feeling really sick, like a constant flu. I went to bed early, woke up a bit late, and then would fall asleep unwillingly during the afternoon again for what my body would call "nap time". I didn't eat much because I just slept all the time, and I couldn't bring myself to do anything. Stairs were a nightmare, after 7 steps I was out of breath and crawling, begging to get to sleep. I would get hot cold flashes, and the list of crazy things would go on and on. Not to mention that I had a never ending menstrual cycle, so the blood loss was not helping one bit.
Doctors are supposed to help right? Well, all they could say (no matter where I went) was to take a blood test and they'd call me with results. After weeks of waiting, all they could say was "Oh, you might be sort of possibly anemic." And I kid you not, those were the exact words.
Me: Sort of... possibly?
Doctor: Yeah, maybe a bit. But not really. We could do another blood test to see, or a whole bunch regularly if you want to see how it is over time.
Me: But... you're missing the whole point. I'M BLEEDING AND IT WON'T STOP. I SLEEP ALL THE TIME.
Doctor: Oh uh, contraceptive pills?
Me: .......
So anyways, they did NOTHING for me and for a while I was home and miserable wondering what was to happen to me.
Enter phase two of horrible month of December: While visiting the family (and trust me, getting there was a nightmare on it's own) my fiance kindly decides to tell me we have TONS of late bills. In fact, that we are in more debt than I could have imagined. I asked him to clarify: We had over 3-4 months of late bills, not to mention electricity hasn't been paid since we moved into the appartment in July. Not the best way to burst the bubble during the holidays.
He then told me that he had been struggling on his own with it and didn't want me to worry because I was sick, but seriously, at times like this it would be nice to know.
Finally got back home nearly a week and a half into the new year. Late bills, starting to feel better and hoping things will get good. The next day: sick beyond all reason. It felt like my intestines were on fire like I ate acid chili or something. And I was burning up too. Figured I got a nasty flu bug on the bus ride home, after all it was full and tons of people were coughing out their lungs. But it didn't get better.
Again, doctors are useless, so we had to take matters into our own hands.
Luckily for us, the fridge was empty and it was time for groceries, so we re-did our menu a bit and tried to avoid everything that might make me sick, since I now apparently have a major list of intollerances:
-No seeds/multigrain
-No stems
-No Skins/peels
-Not too greasy
-No red fruit AT ALL (tomatoes included)
-No spices
-Can't be too greasy
-Have to drink tons of water
-Not too much lactose
And the list goes on. But if I stay withing the boundaries, I don't get sick.
The road to recovery is a long one, and with it, I have to be very careful. Slowly things are getting back in place, and it was only at the beginning of February that I felt ready to go back into the world.
Sickness aside, it was time to see how our financial situation was together. My fiance managed to change jobs to a better one, but we still had TONS of late bills. In fact, it was SO bad, that we were getting threats over the phone. We were lucky to be able to afford rent and food each month. It was so bad, that we could barely feed ourselves at one point, and were stingy on the cats food. (She only costs $7 a month, but we didn't ven have that for ourselves)
After a lot of panicing, begging and penny pinching, we managed to pay off nearly all our debts up until now. All that remains is the electric bill. There's a fascinating story with that: Since we've moved in, we haven't gotten a bill once. We looked into it two years ago and apparently they "didn't know" we had lived here and it was to be billed to us. Har har, we called them in JUNE so they should TECHNICALLY know. So, the customer service dude goes off and fixes that up and says when we get our bill, it'll be huge, but to call them back when we get it and they can fix it up right away. So, a few days ago we got two letters from one. One being a bill, and one being a FINAL NOTICE telling us that if we don't pay our bill by the due date, they cut off the power. Guess what? It is currently -20 degrees Celcius outside, so if they cut it off anytime soon, we're most likely to freeze to death. We called their emergency customer service today only to be on hold for nearly 3 hours before we hung up because we have things to do, we have a life too you know. How the hell we're going to pay off a $2000 in the next month when we have other expenses (which can't be late anymore) is beyond me. I know my fiance doesn't even make that in a month, and I don't start working until March 2nd, and they might hold my first paycheck. In short, we might be screwed over big time. We try not to worry about it, or think about it, but in the back of my mind, I'm still scared. I have a week and a half before I start working at my new job, and I'm feeling very uneasy sitting at home doing nothing. There isn't anything I can do but wait. I know that as soon as I start working, I'll make way more than enough to afford living how I want, but that's just so far away. Most of my birthday money is going on other existing bills, and replacing broken objects. I think all I can do is cross my fingers. I have no one else left to ask for help.
What's worse is, all this crap, isn't because of this so-called 'economical crisis', it's because of one sucky job for my fiance, and my being too sick to work. All because of that, we fell behind. Moral of the story: jobs that are 100% commission SUCK. Trust me.
Anyways, sob story aside: Looking for the backups of the final lists that I had, and as soon as I find them, I want to resume the project, as much as I can. I know when I start working, I won't have much time to be online anymore as I wish.
I am again deeply sorry about what has happened, and I guess I deserve it if some of you hate me.
Anyways, enough life updates, I'll be off to bed now, it's 1.30am like.
Good night everyone, and sorry again.
Anguish
I'm posting this here because what I liked about the ~Santas-Secret-Elf project was that it was open to everyone - and so is this one. Perhaps some people who were attracted to that one will participate in this.
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Secret Santa 2009 - give and receive art for Christmas!
Now CLOSED for new entries. Find another Secret Santa.
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♪Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling♪
Shinedown: Call Me -- Best song in the world <3
Avatar by: `krissi001
Hope your better!
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“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
-Albert Einstein
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